4 Ways This Financial Aid Offer Email Missed the Mark (And How to Fix It)

As the lone admissions professional in my family, I’m the go-to for college counseling. And honestly? I love it.

For the past two years, I’ve helped two high school seniors in my family navigate their college searches, giving me a whole new perspective—because for the first time, I’m on the receiving end of enrollment marketing and communications.

And while I’d love to say it’s been all sunshine and rainbows…it's been more difficult than anticipated.

The hardest part of the process? Comparing financial aid offers. And last week, we got a doozy.

My family member received his first offer, and to a typical (non-admissions) family, it looked amazing: "$30,000 in financial aid for the year!"

His mom was thrilled. She thought the offer, from a quick glance, could work for them. Except, nowhere in that email—nowhere—did the college actually tell them what they would owe.

And the hardest part? It wasn't affordable for them....and this was his top-choice school.

I want to be clear—this school isn’t a villain in this story. In fact, they’re doing some things really well! And no doubt, they have good intentions. They just need a clearer strategy for presenting financial aid.

Let’s take a look at what they got right—and what could be improved.

What This Email Got Right

✅ "Schedule a Meeting" aka Offering a Financial Aid Zoom Call – I love that they invite students to talk through their package with an expert. More schools should be doing this! With CRMs like Slate, this is an easy upgrade to financial aid season, where students can, themselves, schedule a time to chat and ask questions they have on their minds.

✅ "Complete a Survey" aka Asking for Feedback on the Offer – They included a survey to gauge how students feel about their financial aid package, which shows they care about the student experience. This is an excellent way to gather a quick 'hot' v. 'cold' financial aid reaction to know how to best prioritize discussions and families.

That said, there are so many calls to action that these great initiatives are buried in an overwhelming email. And if I were them, I’d tweak a few things:

• Delay the survey. This was his first financial aid offer. At this point, he has nothing to compare it to, and his family hasn’t had time to fully process what it means. A better approach? Wait two weeks to 30 days and then ask for feedback—after students have reviewed more offers and have a clearer picture of their options.

• Make the Zoom a focal point. Instead of listing it among other links, they should highlight it as the best next step for students who need clarity.

Now, let’s dig into where this email missed the mark.

Where This Email Fell Short (And How to Fix It)

1. It Doesn’t Answer the #1 Question: “What Will I Pay?”

Colleges love to highlight how much aid they’re giving students. It makes their offer sound generous.

But financial aid totals don’t mean anything without the full picture. The email proudly listed my family member's $30,000 in financial aid, but nowhere did it say how much he actually owes.

What it didn’t show was that his total cost of attendance was more than $43,000. That meant he and his family were still responsible for nearly $13,000 per year after loans.

Families shouldn’t have to:

❌ Search for tuition and fees on their own.

❌ Do the math themselves.

❌ Decode loan terminology like “Unsubsidized” and “Subsidized” with no guidance.

💡 How to Fix It:

• Start with total cost of attendance. Then, subtract scholarships and grants to show the remaining balance before loans.

• Show the net cost if loans are accepted—but make it clear loans must be repaid.

• Explain loan types in simple terms instead of dropping jargon into a table.

2. The Financial Aid Table Format is Confusing

I’m all for giving families the numbers they need, but this format? It makes things harder, not easier.

• Breaking aid down by semester is unnecessary. Aid is disbursed evenly—families just need to see the total per year to understand what’s being offered.

• There’s no logical order to the aid types. Scholarships, grants, and loans are random and institutional and federal aid are scattered.

• There’s no simple explanation of what’s “free money” (grants/scholarships) vs. what needs to be repaid (loans).

💡 How to Fix It:

• Clearly define scholarships, grants, and loans—and group them accordingly.

• Show the total per year instead of overloading families with per-semester numbers.

• Add basic explanations for aid types so families know what they’re looking at.

3. Too Many Next Steps—But No Link to the Full Package?

I expected to see more details somewhere. A portal, a landing page, a PDF. Something.

Instead, the email included:

📌 Four different next-step options

📌 Three other links

📌 No link to details about the full aid package

How is a family supposed to make an informed decision when they can’t access their full breakdown?

💡 How to Fix It:

• Link directly to a portal or document where students can see their full financial aid package.

• Prioritize the most important next step—not overwhelm with five different options.

• Make it clear where to find deadlines, loan acceptance info and payment plans.

4. It Makes Financial Aid Feel Like a DIY Project

For my family? It was a DIY project.

I had to create an entirely different format just to compare my family member's offers in a way that made sense to them. Had they been on their own, this would have been nearly impossible.

Colleges are asking families to make one of the biggest financial decisions of their lives—while giving them the least helpful information possible.

💡 How to Fix It:

• Present financial aid in a clear, standardized format that allows for easy comparison.

• Provide actual support instead of just throwing numbers in an email.

• Give families the tools they need to make informed decisions—without making them do all the work.

The Bottom Line

This school wants to help students. You can see it in the effort they’re making. And, I know it's a solid college.

But good intentions only go so far if the communication isn’t clear.

Had I not been there, my family member might have walked away thinking this was a great offer—only to realize too late that it wasn’t affordable.

Colleges don’t just need to send financial aid emails—they need to communicate costs clearly, honestly and in a way that actually helps families make informed decisions.

💡 Want to make sure your financial aid emails actually help students make smart decisions?

Connect with me and we'll fix them.